“Hi! I’m Allie. Well, actually, my name is Alessandri but hardly anyone knows that. I work as a front-end web developer, but I’d love to do more complicated work. I wasted a whole lot of time after school trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and I’ve had one too many relationships. I love my family, but I don’t always get along with all of them. I follow a vegan lifestyle, I love rock climbing and I believe in Jesus.”
It sounds like I know who I am, doesn’t it? Well, I don’t. There are very few things I know about myself without a shadow of a doubt, but there are more grey areas than I’d like to admit.
The truth is, I’ve spent so much time trying to keep others happy that I’ve completely lost sight of what is most important to me. There are 3 decisions I made independently, those are:
- Choosing to put my life in God’s hands
- Following a vegan lifestyle
- To make rock climbing a big part of my life
These are pretty good pillars to have if you have support. I, unfortunately, haven’t had very much support in these areas. As I mentioned in my previous post, a lot of what I do and who I am has been attacked over the years, so much so that I have started questioning absolutely every little decision that I make. I’ve found myself thinking thoughts that I truly never thought I would entertain.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Have you ever wondered who you really are? I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s experienced these thoughts and feelings!
In an attempt to find some clarity in my life, I’m going to dig deeper into some aspects of who I am over the next few posts. These posts are going to be incredibly personal and honest. It might not make sense why I’m posting them publicly, but I feel that this could be beneficial in 2 ways:
- For those of you that know me and are reading this, you’ll gain a deeper insight into who I am
- I know that all I want right now is someone to “hold my hand” through this, so I’d like to take this opportunity to share with you, so that you know you’re not alone and hopefully encourage you to go on a similar journey of self-discovery
Because I’m so lost in my own mind, I’ve decided to use the results I got from doing the Gallup StrengthsFinder test as a foundation for starting this journey. That gives me at least 5 different areas of my life to explore. After that, I’ll look at some other personality test results, and then dig deeper into who I feel God is calling me to be. My conclusion will be tying this all together. Hopefully by then I will be able to confidently say that I know who I am without a shadow of a doubt.
I’d love if you’d walk this path with me – feel free to comment, share your thoughts or just some of what you’re experiencing; let’s fill these blank pages together 🙂